Submit to the Admonister

Dear Admonister,

I have a problem, dilemma, or realisation that bothers me. I don't know what to make of it — just like my life. I need your help!

Please admonish,
— Questioning Soul

𝔇𝔢𝔞𝔯 Questioning Soul,

Of course you do. You've tried motivational coaches, productivity life-hacks, and self-help programs — and none of them worked. Not even the second time.

Your predicament is unique. No-one in the history of mankind has suffered what you suffer — nor written any sensible advice about it. They just don't get you — as you wrote in your journal.

Your conundrum demands bespoke review. You deserve someone to read your eloquently written autobiography, plunge into your brooding psyche, and deliver not just an answer — but an incantation to solve your obsession instantly, painlessly, and without consequence.

Now, I am but a humble servant waging war on existence itself — but I would gladly pause that crusade, and segue into your bewildering enigma. So please: indulge me — submit your festering thoughts.

Be advised: I promise no incantation, nor a solution, nor any response indeed. In fact, I may be so free as to deliberately ignore, misread, rearrange, or twist your words into something of higher quality — so that your miserable existence at least yields something meaningful.

Should I publish a response, you'll learn about it on this website and via the newsletter you should already be subscribed to — the one that you've been "meaning to read" since a few hundred unread self-improvement newsletters ago.